‘The Siege of Vientiane’

Since cooking schools are out for my four days in Vientiane, I need to develop an alternative strategy.  My new plan is to ‘lay waist to the city’.

(One definition of laying waste to something is ‘1. To use, consume, spend, or expend thoughtlessly or carelessly).

Now, I can see ‘use’, as in using my money to eat at the best recommended restaurants in the city.  ‘Consume’, that certainly fits into the program as in consuming fine food.  ‘Spend’ – definitely. 

Finally, ‘expend thoughtlessly or carelessly’, that’s the one that will make me do all the work of digging through restaurant reviews, etc. to come up with my list of top shelf restaurants in the city which I shall devote my gourmand activities to over the next four days.

What resources do I use to come up with my list?  The TripAdvisor website lists over 2,600 reviews of the city’s restaurants.  The New York Times has weighed in with its recommendations.  However, the Times I must give a black mark to at the outset. 

They tout a place to go in their Travel Section because it’s a ‘great deal’.  Many people read it and go.  The folks at the destination say ‘hey lots of gringos are coming here.  Let’s raise our prices to an astronomical level.’  So, for example our favorite hotel in Mendoza, the Argentino more than doubled its prices during the year after the Times said to go to the city.

However, one shortcoming of the newspaper industry is that they never look back, never follow up.  Did they ever print another story later that says ‘hey don’t go there anymore because the locals went crazy raising their prices and it it’s no longer a good deal?  Of course not.

I am reminded of a quote by John Kenneth Galbraith ‘Nothing is so  admirable in politics as a short memory’.  If I correctly remember basic logic  they taught in school, I think that means that politicians and newspapers  are of the same ilk.  But let me not go ranting off on a tangent.  I’ll focus on the food.

What I thought would be a relative easy task – picking the top restaurants in the city has turned out to be a five hour  research project.  I’ve gone through the 165 Vientiane restaurants listed in TripAdvisor, those touted in the NY Times, Lonely Planet, Travelfish, and several independent articles. 

I have a list of ten restaurants.  Three are Lao.  Seven are French.  These are heavy duty restaurants for dinner.  I might possibly knock some of them off for lunch as well.  However, very hot weather is not conducive to enjoying a heavy lunch and then going out later for a rich dinner.

I skipped over several highly recommended Italian and one Japanese.  I also, for the sake of whittling down the list, skipped highly touted bakeries, pizzerias, etc. which ranked highly on TripAdvisor.  However, I am using a list of bakeries and great breakfast spots for the first meal of the day.

So, this morning I set out to have one of the world’s best croissants this side of Paris at Le Banneton.  That would be followed up by lunch at Le Central for their ‘salade landaise. This duo of terrine and pan fried foie gras sits atop a bed of super-fresh greens, accompanied by quick-blanched asparagus, thinly sliced duck breast and crispy apple slices’.   I have yet to decide on where to go for dinner, or, even if I’ll go.

“The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley – Robert Burns”

Or, a more recent translation – the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

On the way down the steps this morning from my second floor room in the hotel to put on my shoes and head for le Banneton (you commonly remove your shoes before walking into many hotels, etc. in Thailand and Laos) one of the ladies who books tours for the hotel asked me if I had eaten breakfast.  I said no. She was persistent in suggesting breakfast at the hotel since it was included in the room rate.

I acquiesced and was led to a lovely pavilion and seated.  To save room for lunch I ordered only bread, butter, jam, and tea.  Out came a baguette that could double for a Texas sized hoagie roll.  It was tender, warm and fragrant.  I fell in love with the tea and will find out what it is, buy some, and bring it back with me.  An 'unordered' plate of fresh fruit arrived.  Who can resist that?

Finally, later that morning it was off to Le Central for that much anticipated salad for lunch.  After a long search I found the restaurant, or rather what was left of it.  The sign was still up on the building.  But all I could see when I peered through the windows was dust and debris.  I found out later that the owner had retired over a year ago and closed the restaurant.

So, I pulled out my restaurant crib sheet, studied the city map for a moment and it was off to Le Provencal.  It is a small restaurant with both indoor and shaded outdoor seating on a fairly quiet street downtown.  I chose a seat outside within an arc of oscillating breeze pushed by a huge fan.  Le Provencal.  What else to order but frog legs Provencal?

The pleasant aroma of garlic announced the dish well before the waiter set the plate before me.  It was accompanied by a green salad dressed in a tangy French dressing, slices of baguette, and pomme frites (my first since I left home almost two weeks ago).

There were six plump frogs that filled my plate.  Forget Colonel Sanders ‘finger lickin good’.  I think I licked my fingers more often than I wiped them on the napkin before I was done.  The meal would have made a nice small lunch for two.  Needless to say  felt I would be remiss if I left even one succulent morsel on my plate. 

Once lunch was dispatched I rinsed my hands in the finger bowl with lime slices, paid the bill, and waddled a short distance to get a tuk tuk ride back to the hotel.

I am now resting up and contemplating whether I should have dinner and tick another restaurant off my list.

Well, perhaps a nap first.  This eating business is really hard work.